I’m signed up to a few newsletters that make me feel like there’s a chimney attached to my inbox and that Santa is sliding his fat pudding ass down it each week with a bunch of goodies.

Ever tried to put an Ikea flat pack together? You start out with great intentions, reading the instructions, inspecting the screws – but ten minutes and little bit of confidence later, those instructions are being used as a coaster and you’re free styling the assembly. End result? A nice attempt, but a slightly wonky, ill-fitting and untrustworthy chair.

Occasionally, I look at my calendar and I want to shave my head, bash my car with an umbrella and generally descend into the madness of Britney circa 2007. You all know the feeling: there’s client meetings to be had, staff training to be co-ordinated, deadlines to be defeated.

The Smack Bang studio is a constant party. There’s a strong scent of countless coffees, an echoing effect of laughter, a trail of bad jokes, good vibes, plenty of tunes, the occasional alcoholic beverage and an endless bounty of people coming in and out of our glass doors.

It’s true, I can honestly say that since starting up my business nearly 5 years ago, I have had my little Smack Bang rolling record playing out in the back of my brain non-stop. Whether I’m scrubbing dishes, sipping cider on a balcony with best mates or reclining on an isolated beach in the middle of nowhere, it’s always playing.

Do you find yourself daydreaming every afternoon or waking up in the middle of the night, scrambling for paper and a pen? Do you get home from your 9-5 gig itching to get started and make your ideas a reality? We give you the low-down on the less-than-dreamy aspects of transforming your side hustle into your full-time gig.

Everyone knows that feeling of having your very own ‘local’. Let’s say your particular local comes in the form of a cosy cafe, where the barista knows your name, understands your indulgent coffee order and is beginning to learn your life story.

‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression.’ Who was it that said that? Socrates? Einstein? Beyoncé? Aside from the fact that cliché sayings make me want to dip my face in boiling hot lava, this one actually rings true.

More often than not, these gawky gatherings are a hotbed of cold cabanossi, contrived conversation and well rehearsed elevator pitches. Whenever I get invited to accompany someone to a networking event, a small part of me dies on the inside.

The year was 1991. Wacko Jacko’s ‘Black Or White’ was on the air and a busty blonde named Pammie ran in super slo​mo along a Californian beach in ​THAT​ red one​piece.​ Something else rather clever was brewing that year too.

It’s one thing to develop an innovative product, but as the Microsoft dudes know, you need killer branding, sleek design and an ‘i’ in front of your product names to really boost your brand to infinity and beyond.

Back at school it was as simple as yellow, blue and red. Get a bit crafty, smoosh your fingers around and voila! You’ve got yourself some secondary colours, good for you, now off to recess you go to chow down those vegemite and cheese saos, with a side of choccy milk.

Just in case you were wondering, I like emails about as much as I like poking myself in the eye with wasabi infused chop-sticks. It’s tedious, it’s time-consuming and chews up way too many hours in a day. I can’t wait until the day that we refine our telepathy skills and just send our thoughts to one another through the atmosphere. Man is that going to be fun, and weird.

If I had a dollar for every time a new client of ours submitted ‘Apple’ as their main brand inspiration, I’d have enough money to buy Steve Jobs’ entire collection of black turtlenecks.

Business owner, mentor, accountant and author, Sophie Andrews (CEO of The Accounts Studio) is all about building profits for creative thinkers. So take notes as she shares why – and how – to make new financial year resolutions this July.  There is always talk of New Year’s resolutions come the beginning of January. Some may relate […]

Sitting under the big striped circus tent, I remember watching in awe. The juggling act seemed so fun, so measured, so magical, with balls flying high into the sky. 20 years later in the thick of running a business, I can tell you the juggling act has relocated itself in my psyche – it’s moved from the mystery of magic to the corner of chaos and has taken with it the bliss of naivety.